Lullaby Read online

  “You’re not listening to a word I’m saying, are you?”

  Jesse grinned and leaned an elbow on the bar. “I was trying to but you’re yammering away like an old woman.”

  “Well, if you’d come around more often, I wouldn’t have to try and tell you everything all at once.” He tossed his drink back and motioned for another. “You stopping with just one shot?”

  “Yes, I’ve got too much to do and I need to be clear-headed to do it.” He scratched his eyebrow with his thumbnail. “Besides, Alex can smell whiskey from three rooms away and she’ll skin me bare if she finds out I’m in here drinking.”

  Ben laughed and picked up his glass when Vern handed it to him. “See, that right there is why I’m never getting married.” He nodded to the second floor, and to the girls Vern hired, with his head. “One of those ladies will do just fine when I get an itch.”

  He looked back up at the second floor. “Suppose your right, but why pay for it when you can just toss up the skirts of your own woman anytime you want?”

  Ben sighed. “Well, there is that.” He continued to stare up at the women lingering along the railing. “You took the best looking girl in all of Willow Creek. The rest of us have to take what’s left and honestly, other than Chloe, there’s not much up there that interests me. Even Chloe doesn’t half the time. Just something about bedding a woman you know half the town has already had that makes you not even want to.”

  Jesse laughed. “And that my friend, is why you get married.”

  “Or leave town completely like Aaron did.”

  “You still not hear from him?”

  “No, and neither have Noah or Keri. They’re not much expecting him to come back, either. Keri said she’d never seen him so mad, so with Aaron, it’s hard telling what he’s thinking.”

  “You think he will?”

  Ben got a peculiar look on his face and a muscle in his jaw ticked. “I hope he does.”

  He’d been around Ben long enough to know he was seething about something but he didn’t ask. It was none of his business and if Ben wanted him to know, he would have told him already. Besides, he had other things to do at the moment than talk about their hot-headed friend.

  It took him another half an hour to get out of the saloon and he hurried across town once he did. If he didn’t get back home soon, Alex would skin him alive. He grinned. As ornery as that girl was, he wouldn’t trade her for all the gold in California.

  He slid by a cluster of people congregating near the stagecoach station and headed to the blacksmith shop. As much as he dreaded the thought of it, he couldn’t put it off any longer. He’d patched that old wagon until it wasn’t working anymore and he’d not risk Alex, or his unborn child, regardless of the fact he didn’t want to have to deal with Hugh Jacobs. Every time he saw the man, all he could think about was seeing him kiss Alex the day they came back from the cattle drive and remembering that always put him in a foul mood, but seeing how the man was the only blacksmith in town, doing business with him was unavoidable.

  Hugh’s shop was located next to the Livery Stable. A small alleyway separated it from the other buildings and even from where he stood, he could feel the heat coming from inside. The double doors were wide open, as they were most days, and the moment he stepped in front of them the heat from the forge blasted him in the face. Hugh was near the back wall and he watched him a few moments. For all his ire at the man, he’d give him credit where it was due. Hugh was a good blacksmith. The town was better for having him.

  Hugh looked up from where he was hammering and gave him a look that said he wasn’t any happier to be seeing him grace his shop than Jesse was at being there. “Hugh,” he said as he stepped into the building.

  Shoving the horseshoe he had clamped between tongs back into the burning coals, Hugh nodded to acknowledge him. “Jesse.” He let go of the tongs and looked up at him. “What can I do for you?”

  “The left side of the front axle on the buckboard keeps breaking so I want to replace the whole thing.”

  “I wouldn’t think you’d need to replace it all if it’s just one side. I can patch it.”

  “I know but I’ll not risk Alex or the baby’s safety. I’d rather replace the entire thing than just fix it again.”

  The animosity in Hugh’s eyes wasn’t hard to miss. Not that he faulted him for it. If Alex hadn’t run away and joined the cattle drive her pa sent east, she’d be married to Hugh right now and carrying his baby instead. Or maybe she wouldn’t. He’d like to think she would have come to her senses before saying, “I Do,” to Hugh, but he wasn’t about to ask her to confirm it.

  Hugh picked the tongs back up and pulled the horseshoe from the hot coals. “How soon do you need it?”

  “No rush. I can borrow Rafe’s wagon if I need it before you can get the part done.”

  Commotion to his right caught his attention and the distraction was a welcomed sight. People were rushing off the sidewalk, voices loud in protest. When he saw Alex’s ten-year-old brother, Landon, running hell-bent toward him wide-eyed and ashen, he was sure his heart skipped a beat. Something was very wrong.

  He reached for him, his arms wrapping around his small waist to stop him from running. Landon was panting for breath and gulping air. “What’s wrong, Landon?” Fear was etched onto every inch of the kid’s face.

  “Pa said to come find ya.” He gulped more air. “You gotta come quick. It’s Alex. She’s done killed over in the mercantile!”

  Jesse’s heart stopped beating. “Killed?”

  “Yep. We was standing there and she just yelled real loud and hit the floor. Killed right over!”

  “She fell?”

  “Yep!”

  A series of thoughts ran through Jesse’s mind as he raced across town praying she’d be all right. The first, how the hell did she get to town? The second, what cowboy had she picked a fight with this time? And who was he going to have to kill because they dared to touch her. Would the woman never learn to keep her mouth shut? Probably not. His wife may need help getting off the bed and climbing steps but she still didn’t know her limits and tested them every chance she got.

  A crowd hovered near the door when he jumped onto the sidewalk in front of the store and he didn’t say a word as he pushed his way inside the building. More people stood at the rear of the store and he weaved in and out of the isles until he reached the spot they stood.

  “Alex?” he said, trying to see over their heads.

  “I’m here.”

  He pushed his way inside the tight circle of people boxing her in and found her lying on the floor. Like Landon, her complexion was ashen, her eyes luminous and seemed too big for her face. He knelt beside her and willed his heart to stop racing. “What happened?”

  “She killed over, just like I said.” Landon was squatted by his side, arms on his knees, the fear on his face still present.

  “I think the baby is coming,” Alex said, her voice soft and a bit wobbly.

  He heard the words but it took his brain an entire minute to register what she’d said. He looked at her bulging stomach. Her arms were wrapped around her middle and when she suddenly gasped, he looked back at her face.

  “My water just broke.”

  Holden Avery’s voice boomed inside the store as he told everyone to get back. When he stepped into Jesse’s line of sight with Alex’s brother Holt by his side, Jesse knew immediately how she’d gotten to town.

  He had time to fuss at her later. Right now he needed to get her out of here. He reached for her, sliding an arm under her shoulders, the other underneath her legs and stood. She wrapped both arms around his neck as he turned to carry her out.

  Those who stood staring moved back as he neared them. Holt and Landon ran ahead and held the door open for him. When he stepped out onto the sidewalk, the boys ran toward the end of town, headed to Evan Reid’s office, he assumed.

  He could see Holden out of the corner of his eye. The man looked as rattled as he felt. Jesse h
ad had months to prepare for this and never once thought he’d be one of those nervous father’s who ended up pacing the hall as their wives gave birth but one look at Alex’s pale complexion and he was ready to panic. What if something went wrong? Her own mother had died only days after she’d been born. He wasn’t prepared to lose her. She’d only been his for a year. That wasn’t nearly long enough.

  “You’re squeezing the breath out of me, Jesse.”

  He relaxed his hold. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was.”

  She stiffened in his arms and gasped. Her eyes were clenched shut tight when he looked down at her. He kissed her forehead then said, “Hold on. We’re almost there.”

  Holt was running back his way shaking his head. “Dr. Reid ain’t here. His sister said he took off for Missoula early this morning.”

  Jesse stopped and cursed under his breath.

  “It’ll be fine,” Holden said. “Let’s take her over to Morgan’s. It doesn’t matter where she gives birth, it’ll happen regardless. Abigale will know what to do. We can’t risk trying to get all the way back home.”

  Alex didn’t protest. One look at her face and Jesse wasn’t even sure she’d heard them talking. Her eyes were closed, and small lines around her mouth told him she was in pain. He turned and headed back the way they’d come and quickened his steps as they headed to Morgan’s house. Thank goodness there was family nearby or he wasn’t sure what he would have done.

  The boys ran ahead and by the time they reached the white two-story house on the edge of town, and Holden had opened the gate, Alex was near to choking him she was holding on to his neck so tight. Abigail, Alex’s aunt, met them at the door and ushered them inside.

  “Take her upstairs, Jesse. First door on the left.”

  He climbed the stairs as quickly as he dared and tried not to jostle her too much. The room Abigail had directed him to was decorated with frilly ruffles and lace and a pale yellow quilt lay across the bed. Abigail rushed in and pulled the blankets away and told him to lay her down before she stepped out of the room. Alex held on tight when he tried to let go of her.

  “I’m scared.”

  Those whispered words in his ear nearly broke his heart. He sat down on the edge of the bed and leaned over to give her a quick kiss. “Everything will be fine.”

  “What if it isn’t?”

  “It will be.”

  She stared at him, her fear-filled eyes growing glassy with tears. “I love you, Jesse. You know that right?”

  “Yes.”

  She grabbed his hand and held tight. “Do you, really? I know I’m mean and cause you all kinds of trouble and I don’t even like you most days but…I do love you. More than I can ever say.”

  Something in her eyes told him she thought she might not ever get to say those words again and he wasn’t sure who was more scared in that moment—her or him. “Stop frettin’ Alex. I know you love me. You’re not the sort of woman to do anything you don’t want to do so you marrying me, not once, but twice, was all the confirmation I needed.” He kissed her again and whispered against her lips, “And I see it in your eyes every time you look at me, even when you’re being mean.”

  She let out a choked laugh but fear and a few tears still lingered in her eyes. “You’ll remember that if things go wrong won’t you?”

  “Nothing is going to go wrong.”

  Her gaze slid over his face as if she were trying to memorize it. “My pa didn’t think anything would go wrong when he lost my ma, either, but she didn’t survive having me. I just want—”

  “Stop, Alex.” He cupped her face in his hands and leaned down close. “You’re not your ma and don’t think like that, you hear me? You’re going to have this baby and irritate me until I’m old and gray just like you promised so don’t think otherwise all right?”

  She smiled and kissed him one last lingering time as Abigail walked back into the room.

  “There will be plenty of time for that later,” Abigail said. “We need to get that wet skirt off of her so shoo—go on downstairs. Morgan just came in and he and Holden are waiting for you. They’ll keep you company. Births are usually an all-day event so go find something to occupy your time.”

  He kissed her one last time, told her he loved her, and left her there looking small and scared and there wasn’t a thing he could do to erase her fear or his own. He pulled the door shut when he exited the room and stood there a minute to collect himself. Holden was at the top of the stairs, staring at him when he turned around.

  “Is she all right,” he asked.

  He shook his head. “No. She’s thinking about her ma and she’s scared and I don’t know how to fix that.”

  So many emotions crossed Holden’s face he couldn’t catch them all before he said, “You can’t.” He crossed to where he stood and patted him on the back before nudging him toward the stairs. “Alex is not Maggie. She’s stronger than her ma ever was. She’ll be fine.” He smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Come on. There’s a glass of whiskey downstairs with our name on it.”

  He followed him down the stairs but knew his gut wouldn’t stop churning until he knew Alex and the baby were both healthy and alive.

  3

  The pain was much worse than she’d imagined it would be. Knowing something would be painful and actually feeling said pain were two entirely different things. It felt as if she was being ripped in half and everything from her stomach to knees ached. Her jaw was sore from clenching her teeth so hard and she was sure her fingernails were going to poke holes clean through the sheets she was bunching the material in her hands so tightly.

  Abigail rushed across the room, bringing in more sheets and thick drying cloths and spoke in soft whispers to her daughter, Rebecca, who ran out of the room and clomped down the stairs. Elisabeth, the oldest of her nieces, walked in a few moments later carrying a bucket of steaming water.

  Alex watched them and tried to ignore the pain—and the fear. She’d not been able to think of much else since the first stabbing pain hit while standing inside the mercantile. It didn’t feel like the other’s she’d been having since breakfast. Off and on all day she’d had twinges of pain but they felt no different than any of the others she’d been having over the last week or so but the pain she felt walking those isles in the mercantile had taken her to her knees. She’d never felt anything like it. Luckily old Mrs. Richmond had been standing close by and sent someone to fetch her pa before telling her to stay where she was. Lying on the floor wouldn’t have been her first choice but she knew she’d never be able to stand with the pain shooting across her back the way it was.

  Abigail turned her attention to her and smiled. “Everything will be fine, Alex.”

  She hoped she was right. With Evan out of town, what would they do if something went wrong?

  “I’ll not lie and say I wasn’t terrified when I had Elisabeth,” Abigale continued, “because I was. I think all first-time mothers are to some extent so it’s natural.” She poured a portion of the water Elisabeth had brought up into a small bowl and carried it across the room. Setting it on the bedside table, she wet a cloth in the steaming water and smoothed it across her forehead. “Just try to relax, breathe, and let it happen.” She smiled brightly, her eyes shining. “Before the sun sets, you’re going to have a sweet little boy or girl to hold and fuss over.”

  She tried to take the words to heart but it was easier said than done. It was hard to relax when it felt as if your body was being torn apart and as much as she hated to admit it, she wanted Laurel. She wasn’t her real mother but she was the only one she’d ever known and she wanted her there, holding her hand and telling her everything would be all right.

  Abigail and her daughters came and went and the pains grew stronger the longer she laid there. Every minute that passed felt like a small eternity. Abigail helped her remove her dress and slip on a clean, dry shift. She laid in bed until she thought she’d go crazy then got up to pace the floor, gritting her teeth th
rough the pain. When it grew so intense she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stand through it any longer, she had Abigail help her back to the bed. She’d just laid her head down when Edna Pierce barreled into the room. The woman was getting on in age and was still as brash as the day was long, but she’d helped birth half the babies in Willow Creek. With Evan Reid gone, Edna was the next best thing they had and she was grateful she was there.

  “Well now,” Edna said as she put her things down on a nearby dresser. “Let’s see where we’re at.” She came to the bed and pulled the sheet back. “Have your waters broke?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good.” She lifted up the edge of her shift and nudged Alex’s knees apart, spreading her open for anyone looking to see. Had she not been in so much pain, she would have been humiliated at the thought of this old woman looking at her like that but at the moment, half the town could have been there looking and she wouldn’t have cared as long as one of them could move this process along a little bit faster.

  Edna lowered her shift and pulled the sheet back up, then turned to talk to Abigale in soft whispers. Her thoughts went back to Jesse. He’d acted calm but she’d seen the anxious look in his eyes. He wasn’t as unaffected by her going into labor as he tried to make her think. He was nervous, too.

  Another pain stole her breath and she gasped, her entire abdomen tightening painfully. Breath stealing streaks of razor-sharp pain shot down her legs and her back felt as if it was breaking.

  “Breathe through it, Alex. Don’t hold your breath.”

  Abigale’s words did little to ease the pain but breathing helped some. When the pain eased, she sank against the mattress and waited for the next one to hit and as much as it hurt, she hoped it happened quickly.

  He’d paced the same path across Morgan and Abigale’s rug for over five hours and he was sure he’d worn a path clean through it. Holden handed him another whiskey as he passed by him and he slung it back in one gulp. He’d lost count of how many shots he’d had. He wasn’t even sure why he was drinking them. They did nothing to alleviate his anxiety and every time he heard Alex scream he wanted to charge up the stairs and help her bear the pain, even if it was by doing nothing more than holding her hand through it all.